IF YOU’RE NOT “THE ONE”, HE WON’T COMMIT TO YOU

When I first started to write this story, I was going to admonish women who co-habit with their partners for years without getting married. Those who’ve allowed themselves to believe that marriage is only about a piece of paper, those hapless women who claim they don’t believe that they need a marriage certificate to tell them that their partner wants to be with them.

I have seen many times over and over again, women who will move in with a guy and start to have babies, postponing that important commitment ceremony – wedding. A few months lead into a few years and before you know it, you are with a guy for ten years with 2 or 3 kids and no wedding ring. You are playing all the roles of a wife with no commitment whatsoever from the guy. Unfortunately, what tends to happen in a majority of these arrangements is that the guy suddenly meets another woman who turns his head and entire life around and before you can say Jack Sparrow, he’s moved out, left his partner and the kids and within a couple of months, is walking down the aisle with the new woman.

So what happened to his views about marriage?

It must certainly be that the live-in partner was simply a convenience for the time being – and not “The one”. The speed at which some of these men rush to marry a new chick after denying their ex partner the commitment of marriage is simply unbelievable.

Take the case in study here: Johnny Depp lived with beautiful French actress Vanessa Paradis for 14 years and they had 2 kids together. Both repeatedly claimed they did not need to get married. and even in the midst of relentless rumours of cheating by Depp, he constantly declared that Vanessa was the love of his life but didn’t want to get married because he didn’t want to ruin her “beautiful” surname. How’s that for an excuse??

But the moment the siren by name of Amber Head crossed his radar, things suddenly changed. As a matter of fact, Amber was one of the women he cheated with while he was still with Vanessa. Before she (Vanessa) knew what was up, Johnny was out the door after 14 years together and within as little as a year, had started to discuss marriage with Amber before they eventually got hitched.

What this tells someone like me is that Johnny probably knew Amber was “the one” from the first time he met her and had an affair with her. Guys usually know these things. A man might have an affair or even a relationship with a woman but if he doesn’t feel she’s “the one”, he won’t go beyond an affair with her and won’t think twice about dumping her the very moment “the right one” comes along.

Now marriage is no guarantee of a life time relationship but it at least gives the assurance that the guy is committed to you and vice versa – if only for a few years, and leaving won’t be as easy as if you weren’t married. Many men will think long and hard before walking out on a woman they are married to especially where kids are involved. Many even believe that divorces and separations are more demanded by wives who have been cheated upon or mistreated. But were there’s no agreement or commitment, then the desire for a man to stay once something else is pulling him is really very weak or simply non-existent.

So women who put themselves in a non-committed relationship do run the risk of great heartbreak in future. Coupled with the fact that a common law husband is not under any obligation towards his ex partner should the relationship dissolve. And if the man is successful and well off while the woman might have devoted herself to raising the kids instead of developing her career, only his good nature will make him make any provisions for her but he won’t be under any lawful obligation.

Without meaning to imply that married men don’t cheat or even leave their wives – if fact the exact opposite is the case. Many married men do cheat but mostly as a temporary diversion and fun. Very few of them ever plan or intend to leave their family. When a married man cheats or has an affair, you can almost be certain it is just for sex alone and nothing more, and their heart will always be at home.

Nevertheless, on a different note, after all the heartbreak and humiliation of seeing the man she loved and co-habited with for 14 years walk down the aisle with another woman in just a couple of years, Vanessa Paradis can now be consoled by the new turn of events.

For its now come to light that Amber Heard the new wife, who years ago publicly declared herself bi-sexual is now cheating on Johnny – with another woman, And after just 6 months of marriage, is on the verge of leaving HIM…

Oh poor Johnny.

Copyright Jummy Ariyo

September 2015

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