Category: Just Musings

WE NEED MORE REAL FEMALE MENTORS AND ROLE MODELS

For too long, we as a community and as a race have left the task of leading our nations to our menfolk. Men have for centuries and through different generations been at the head of governments, companies, groups, associations and even family – which however is a God given role.

God made the man the head of his own home and tasked him to be the breadwinner and protector of his family.  He was given the responsibility of ensuring his kids are well trained, clothed and educated and that his wife has a good roof over her head.

Over many centuries and through many generations, many men have successfully carried out this task and proudly fulfilled their roles as family head. And we have also seen many extend their responsibilities to community or national head. Men have headed companies and multinationals with great successes. However, we cannot fail to notice that many of the world’s conflicts and a good number of national or even domestic conflicts, have men at the very centre.

But this is not an article about men. Neither is it a man-bashing piece.

This article is to explore and focus on the role of women – not as opposites – but as alternatives in nation builders and as leaders. Afterall, women were also given the role as help mates (helpers) to men. To be co-workers and co-equals with different yet equally important roles in family, community and nation building. Many have said if the man is the head of the family, then women are the neck and backbone without which the head cannot stand. The head rests on the neck and the back gives support and stability.

For years, women have been denied the ability to perform and carry out these roles effectively. The misapplication of the commandment that “a woman must submit to her own husband” has ensured that women have been reduced to the position of near useless second class citizens fit only for childbearing and house cleaning. Some cultures forbid the education of women and others have a solid ban on women driving or venturing out of their homes unaccompanied. And even where women have been able to achieve educational qualifications and sound training, their skills and abilities have been rendered almost obsolete and useless as they are seldom called upon or encouraged to lead or hold senior positions.

Statistics show that there are more women in education than men at any given time and that women on average often perform better than their male counterparts and generally obtain better qualifications.

“Girls do better than boys at school even in countries where women’s liberties are severely restricted, a study has revealed. New research shows that girls outperform boys in mathematics, reading and science literacy in 70% of countries regardless of levels of national gender equality”

Telegraph 22 Jan 2015

But these achievements are rarely transferred to management or leadership functions and situations.

It is disgraceful in this day and age, to see nations like the United Kingdom and the United States talking about the “first ever female president” (which they couldn’t even make happen) or “second ever female prime minister” and still claim to be the most developed countries in the world. As for the not so developed countries, having female Presidents or Heads of States is almost taboo as men still cannot imagine the thought of having women rule over them. And is spite of the wealthy pool of highly intelligent and highly educated women out there, it is only in rare situations that you would come across women heading huge companies or government departments. There has been an age long subconscious attitude that discourages women from progressing beyond a certain level in the workplace.

But in recent years, we are beginning to see a change in men having or holding the sole rights to leadership. Thanks to the modern day feminist movements, women are beginning to step out of the shadow of their male counterparts and step into high level roles and responsibilities. In Europe today, at least 5 countries including the United Kingdom and Germany have women leaders and 1 in Africa. The US came very close to having their first ever female President in the White House. The International Monetary Fund is being headed by a woman Christine Lagarde and there are currently 7 women bosses at the FTSE 700 even though this is a rather small percentage out of the total 100 bosses.

And when speaking of the world’s richest people, we cannot leave out at least two women Folorunsho Alakija – a Nigerian oil baroness and fashionista, and of course American Television personality Oprah Winfrey.

All over the world and through various industries from the arts and entertainment to finance and politics, we are seeing several women who have hustled, struggled and juggled their careers with their responsibilities as wife and mother and managed to get to the top of their game – even if it means working twice as hard as their male counterparts. Many even have had to put up with bullying, harassment and even unwanted sexual advances from their male colleagues.

But what these women all have in common is that THEY WENT OUT THERE, THEY TRIED THEIR DAMNEST, GAVE THEIR ALL AND THEY DID IT.

We won’t have the Beyonces or the Rihannas (Top female artistes) or the Serena Williams (Top Tennis star)or Angela Merkels (German President) or JK Rowlins (multibillionaire writer of Harry Potter books) or Theresa Mays (UK Prime Minister) or Viola Davies (Female Oscar Winner) that the entire world knows today if they did not get up, go out, work hard and just do it. Even Michelle Obama would not have been heard of if she didn’t work extremely hard to be the kind of woman fit for a future American president.

The Bible is also filled with old time female heroines and role models. We have Miriam, Queen Esther, Ruth, Rahab, Hannah, Judge Deborah, Mary the Mother of our Lord, Mary Magdalene, Lydia etc. What all these women have in common is that they were all women of action and determination. They went out and did what was necessary and impacted their families, their communities and the generations after them.

These are examples of female leaders and mentors or role models. The type of women our daughters must fashion their lives after. A lot of our girls are simply being educated but they lack proper role models to emulate. Many of them have the likes of Kim Kardashian or the girls from TOWIE as their role models. Girls who are known best for their make up antics, sexual escapades and wardrobes.

I am all for looking good and smelling nice. But these are simply extras. I want our girls to be successful achievers in their own rights. I would love to see our girls take after the likes of Orprah Winfrey owning their own Television and Media organisations and becoming employers of labour made up of both men and women. I would like to see our girls emulate JK Rowlins and write bestseller novels that people all over the planet will queue up overnight to purchase as soon as they are released – then major film studios falling over themselves for filming rights. I would like to see women who will study hard, work hard and get to the position that men and women will practically beg them to lead their political parties and possibly country. I would like to see girls who will develop the entrepreneurial spirit from young ages and own their own companies and brands by the time they are 30.

But how can these girls be motivated or inspired to do these things?

This is where mentors and role models come in. Women who have “done it” must start to come out more and show themselves to our young ones. They need to stop being recluses and visit our schools, Sunday schools, playgrounds and talk earnestly to our girls. Talk to them and inspire them and let the know that it is possible to become a somebody. To convince them that “nothing is impossible if you put your mind and elbow grease into it” We need to show them that if we can do it, then they too can do it – even better!

But, it is not always about face to face meetings and personal encounters. Women who have attained” must learn and realise that they are being watched by people out there…and many of those watchers are younger aspiring ladies. On several occasions, I have been approached by ladies who have told me I am their mentor or role model. These have been ladies that I have never met or interacted with but somehow, I have been inspiring and influencing them from afar and thankfully, positively. Thank God that I try my uttermost to behave myself and comport myself with decency in public. We really have no idea who is watching us and we can either be a mentor albeit distant – or detractor for someone.

It is of absolutely no use if we are successful well dressed, well spoken, women but hold negative reputations. Nobody wants their daughters to emulate a trouble maker or a loose woman.

In these days of social media, Facebook is awash with shameless, unhibited women who are not afraid to wash all their dirty linen in public. All their family and friends’ secrets are freely publicised for the world to see and all their fights are held on the internet. Now these women are someone’s mother, someone’s wife and someone’s aunties. But would you want your daughter to be influenced by such women? No! I’m sure. Neither would I. I have two daughters and I am always pushing them towards the pages and stories of highly respectable and high achieving women to emulate – including myself (laugh)

But seriously speaking, what our children are exposed to goes a long way in determining what they want to become.

Yes we want our women to be good women who can cook, take care of their homes and look after their husbands and children. But we want them to be highly successful and wealthy women who can also cook, clean and take care of their husbands.

The days of thinking women are only good for the kitchen, the living room and the other room are long over. Nowadays, women are just as well suited for the boardroom, cabinet offices and conference tables too.

But how would they know they can get there – if we do not show them.

This is why we need more female mentors and role models.

(C)Baronessj.com

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ANGRY YORUBA WOMEN ON PUBLIC RAMPAGE

The term “Angry Black Woman” is more commonly used in the United States to describe the average black woman. Whites usually assume that every black woman is always angry, agressive and always ready for a fight no matter where. While this description is not surprisingly another derogatory and at best stereotypical description coined primarily by the media in referring to women of colour or African Americans – as they are known over there, the term couldn’t have been any more apt in describing many black women especially of the  Yoruba descent.

Now, I will just make it very clear that I am myself, a British born, Nigerian bred Yoruba woman – Ijebu to be precise. And while I do not presume myself to be better  or higher placed than anyone else, owing also my own faults, flaws and feminine weaknesses, I can’t however not claim to be unaware of the increasingly embarassing and cringeworthy behaviours of many of my fellow Yoruba women demonstrated in public.

Generally Yoruba women are confident, dedicated, nurturing and passionate. Our passion and confidence makes us a bit more ourspoken and vocal and we tend to be a lot more feisty than women from other Nigerian tribes. And it is this feistiness that some of us have in abundance and oftertimes causes us to lose control and nit know just when to apply the “enough” buttons.

Much has been said of the current show of shame and horror displayed by – yes- Yoruba women on social media. You cannot be forgiven if you claim to not have at least heard of the recordings of taped phone calls, Facebook shows and even You Tune and Instagram postings of Yoruba women abusing, cursing, insulting and threatning another Yoruba woman or the other for all kinds of personal reasons including “stealing a lover” who is ironically married to a totally different woman,  or for getting provoked into anger because a friend from whom you borrowed some money or clothes over a year ago made the mistake of claiming back their cash or property.

More alarming is the fact that some of these “horrific recordings authord have turned their embarassing actions into full time jobs and some of them are now self styled “motivational speakers” Visit these women’s social media walls and you will be shocked to discover their posts have in excess of a million views in some cases. Makes you wonder just whom their followers are…

But far from social media being the only medium for these women to air their very filthy sercets and demonstrate their agression towards their love rivals, exes and other  “haters”, imaginary or otherwise,  it would also seem, sadly, that no public venue is too hallowed or exempt from their break out of aggression. Be it the market place, car parks, beauty salon, party, restaurant, bus stop, mosque, church and even their kids school gate – no place is too public for these women when the spirit comes upon them. I am not saying that there won’t be times that the need to raise one’s voice can occur in a domestic row or sometimes during a heated argument – but I definitely draw the line at public altercations.

I have  unwittingly been a reluctant witness to Yoruba women’s display of madness in public and on a number of occassions, been targetted by a Yoruba woman or two on the rampage. This afternoon for example, I gently called out this woman for jumping the queue at an African foods store – and that was all she needed, She erupted in a tirade of Yoruba abuses and expletives – without even realising I could speak or understand the language. And even with me pointedly ignoring her and to the obvious shock of the storekeeper and other bystanders including the gentleman who accompanied her, this woman ranted on and on for at least 3 minutes!

As tempted as I might have been to respond to her, on such occassions, I am always mindful of someone I know walking by that very moment. Or my Pastor… or any of my kids’ friends – or just anyone who thinks highly of me. Or even a stranger with a phone recording and posting the footage on social media! The very thought of anyone seeing me involved in a public brawl always keeps me from responding or taking the bait to respond so I simply just walk away.

But many of my fellow Yoruba women has no such compulction.  Where ever and whenever the urge comes upon them to fight, off they go. There is a woman I know – a public peronality who is very well known for her love of public fights. And she will pick one with just about anybody for the sheer fun of it. I bet she enjoys the attention it brings her…. Even I had to block her off on Facebook having gotten tired of her incessant aggression and constant readiness to fight.

Many of the videos on the internet with black women fighting and ripping each others’ weaves and bras off, have Yoruba women in them. One of such was outside a mosque right after Jumat service.

There is also a legendary fight that took place at Woolwich market between a wife and her husband’s bit on the side – again both Yoruba women. They both beat each other into shameful nakedness and it only took the intervention of the police to break up the fight.

It is not just about the public brawls and exhibitionary fights…but the determination of these women to utilise social media for what is private and personal drama. One of such is a woman who confided in her bosom friend that the child she bore her husband was actually fathered by another man. A simple misunderstanding resulted in the secret being revealed on a recording that went viral on Whatsapp. And this is just one of many such recordings publicly revealing age held family secrets and oaths between old friends.

Ironically, it would seem that these women are unaware that these recordings once out there, cannot be recalled. It also would look like these women have no qualms whatsoever about their image or reputation or what impacts these shows of shame can have on them or their kids in future. Imagine if your son brought a girl home and her mum was one of these women…. Exactly!

It has also become public knowledge that employers randomy carry out checks on their employees social media profile. How many of these women would want their employers stumbling across some of these recordings…?

Or say they have a change of life experience and come to occupy a lofty position (nothing is impossible) and then these videos are released… would you be proud of what is revealed about you from your past?

People need to really start to think about their actions and how they can reflect on them in future. Some actions may seem gratifying or even justifiable within the spur of the moment. But one might not feel the same way a few hours, days or years later. Unfortunately, certain things are like spilt milk.

Yoruba women, please let us learn to control ourselves and comport ourselves with propriety in public.

The world is now a very small global village and many of our actions now have the potential to reach unimaginable corners of the earth.

Whether good or bad, the world is watching us.

(C)Baronessj.com

 

SHOCKING VIDEO OF DRUNK MUM HITTING ROUNDABOUT AT TOP SPEED WITH HER BABY IN BACK OF THE CAR

Terrifying footage captures the moment a mother flipped her car 14 feet into the air after swigging vodka while driving with her baby son.

Tania Chikwature, 32, was three times the drink drive limit when she crashed her Nissan Qashqai while hurtling towards a roundabout on the A605 in Peterborough.

Her toddler, aged 20 months, was sat in the back of the car but fortunately, escaped without any serious injuries.

Chikwature, from Coventry, was jailed for 26 weeks for driving with excess alcohol and dangerous driving, at Peterborough magistrates’ court.

Footage of the horrific collision was captured by the dashcam of a lorry driver, who said it was one of the ‘most dangerous pieces of driving’ he had witnessed in over 30 years on the road.

Corinne Soanders-Silk, prosecuting, told the court the footage had showed Chikwature overtaking at speed.

She crossed double white lines in the road, which indicated there should be no overtaking.

WATCH VIDEO:  Drunk mum driving at top speet with baby at the back of t he car

 

Miss Soanders-Silk said Chikwature had been driving from her home in Coventry to Peterborough for a wake when the incident happened.

Her car hit the central reservation in the road, before hitting the roundabout.

The lorry driver who Chikwature had overtaken said he was stunned by the reckless driving.

smashe

The driver said: ‘I thought ”they are not going to make it.”

‘The car flew 12-14 feet in the air, cleared the roundabout and hit a tree, landing on the roof on the other side of the roundabout. I could see utter devastation.

DAILY MAIL

 


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JUST MUSING: MIND THE PICTURES YOU POSE FOR

I recently posted on my Facebook wall, a lady’s before/after pictures with a satirical comment to highlight the power of Modern Makeup with its ability, if properly applied, to hide a multitude of sins.

The pictures in question were of a lady taken by her Make Up Artist, with the “before” one showing her face with very heavy scarring and blemishes obviously caused by prolonged use of bleaching products and which she also very obviously, happily & willingly posed for.

But it has been gently pointed out to me that the use of the pictures on Social media is making the woman an object of ridicule and could be causing her depression.

While I am not too obstinate to disagree with the observation, or too unfeeling to choose to remove the pictures from my wall, I must say that at the end of the day we must all take responsibility for images of us that make their way onto social media including NUDE PICTURES!!!!

This should be a lesson for us all. Pictures posed for can appear anywhere on or off the internet at anytime…..and can be used for any purpose by anybody..

So please make sure pictures you pose for are those you can be proud of, and will not cause you depression, embarrassment, anxiety or suicidal thoughts.

And even if someone circulating your pornographic images is prosecuted by the law, will it make up for your shame and embarrassment of knowing the whole world has seen your blemishes…or nakedness…?

Just think about it.

 

 

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MY THOUGHT FOR TODAY: SOCIAL MEDIA ASBOS

It is clear there are certain folks on social media and particularly Facebook that regardless of their age, think and behave rather immaturely, and need to be taught and educated like small children – everyday!

Yoruba people say “A maa nwa ore kunra ni” which means thay we should seek to make more friends and not enemies. The Bible also says “as long as it is up to you, live peaceably with all men”

But it would seem that many on FB want to do just exactly the opposite.

It’s as if each day they wake up, their first thought is “how many people can I fight or start a fight with today?
They trawl or browse or surf their newsfeed for their friends’ posts and leave nasty comments and negative or offensive responses on posts they don’t like or agree with.

I had a very good example of such madness last night and her/his reason was because it came through their feed, s/he felt it was their right to respond.

Now for one that spends as much time on social media as I do, it is not pertinent that you respond to or comment on EVERY POST that comes through your feed! Just as in real life, you do not respond to every word or insult or abuse that comes your way!

 

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But these uncouth, immature folks and even more staggeringly, the ones that would most certainly be the ones that sent you friend’s requests in the first place, think being offensive is a part of being a Facebook friend.

As a principle, I, do not comment on every post I come across. If I have anything to say, I do. Other times I just give a simple 👍 or ❤.
Many times, I come across many things that many of my friends post that are not to my liking or that I’m not comfortable with, but rather than vent my anger, I restrain myself and SIMPLY MOVE ON!.

There will be times that I would have started to type a furious comment but then I stop and ask myself “is it worth it? And then delete the comment and move on.

The value I place on my friends whether on or off Facebook is worth more than a few words.

And unless the offensive comment is posted by another person commenting on my wall, on which occasion I will not hesitate to make my feelings clearly known – and summarily BLOCK THE FELLOW’S ASS, I tell myself – “Jumoke, just leave it”

But many so called grown ups don’t have such qualms or common sense. The wisdom to express their dislike for anything without stooping to insults was clearly not taught to them as children which is why as so called adults, the only way they know to express themselves is through abuses and insults.

guard-dog-alsation-aggressive-dog-alsation-guard-dog-barking-and-straining-BPT1TJ
Like an untrained dog, many folks want to growl and bark at everyone that walks pass them.

Such folks have PPs of them looking beautiful and handsome, but the words they speak will shock you. And these aggressive anti-social socialites hide behind their lonely existences and the veil of the virtual world of the Internet to demonstrate their bad upbringing and lack of proper home training.

And surprisingly many of them are married with children. Good luck to those poor kids – with parents like that!!!

And it os certainly not limited to women. Many grown up husbands and fathers are also guilty of this anti social behaviour!

Let’s please educate ourselves and acquire necessary social skills. The world is now a tight global village, thanks to the Internet and social media.

 

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Unfortunately this also means that good…..and bad manners and behaviours can be publicly demonstrated and highlighted for the world to see!

So instead of showing ourselves up as social media ASBOs, let us teach, discipline and train ourselves on how to behave properly – as adults – on social media.

You cannot teach a dog new tricks, the saying goes……

But you can try!!!

(C)Baronessj.com

 

 

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NEW MET POLICE COMMISSIONER ANNOUNCED

The new Metropolitan Police Commissioner will be the first woman to hold the most senior role in British policing.

Cressida Dick will succeed Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe when he steps down after six years in the job at the end of the week.

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Ms Dick, 56, will return to the force after leaving for the Foreign Office two years ago.

The national lead for police counter-terrorism for three years, including during the Olympics, Ms Dick oversaw many of Scotland Yard’s most sensitive investigations, including into phone hacking and parliamentary expenses.

She came under intense scrutiny when she was in charge of the operation that led to the fatal shooting of Brazilian Jean Charles de Menezes, who was wrongly identified as a potential suicide bomber.

A jury cleared Ms Dick of any blame in his death.

 

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JUST MUSING: THE PRICEY COST OF IGNORANCE

 

At Korle Bu hospital’s intensive care unit, patients always died in the same bed at 7am every morning regardless of their condition.

This puzzled medical staff, so a group of medical doctors decided to observe the bed in secret and waited for the fateful hour. Some held crosses and prayer books to ward off evil influences.
While the less superstitious ones held cameras, tablets, smartphones to capture every moment of this hour.

At exactly 7 am, the door to the ward slowly opened, Frank the cleaner came in and disconnected the life support from the main socket and plugged in his Nokia 3310 phone charger.

 

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