COUPLES SHOULD HAVE REGULAR SEX BREAKS AND WORK ON THEIR EMOTIONAL CONNECTION

While many couples believe regular intimacy is the key to long-term success, one expert says this isn’t always the case.

Australian sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein says that while regular sex is indeed important and should be made a priority, it is important for couples to have ‘sex breaks’.

These breaks, she explains, are useful because of the ‘pressure’ society places on couples and the increasing focus on ‘adventurous’ and ‘raunchy’ sex rather than ‘pleasure and connection’.

African-American-couple

‘A short sex break can always be a useful thing for a couple to focus on reconnecting emotionally and taking some of the pressure off, as long as there is an end date,’ Dr Goldstein told Body + Soul.

‘But most importantly having less sex can be about having it when you want to, not when you feel you have to in order to meet some mark.’

The sexologist explained that many couples are having sex more than they truly want because they ‘feel they should have to believe their relationship and sex life are still on top’.

These breaks, she explains, are useful because of the ‘pressure’ society places on couples and the increasing focus on ‘adventurous’ and ‘raunchy’ sex rather than ‘pleasure and connection’

Nikki’s top tips for success between the sheets

  • Ditch the porn – it’s not real
  • Experiment with new things
  • Use lubrication and go back to basics
  • Reconnect emotionally
  • Don’t compare yourself to others

These couples are then likely to be having ‘more sex that is less enjoyable’ rather than ‘less sex that is more enjoyable’.

Dr Goldstein also advises couples to move away from the ’50 Shades of Grey’ mentality that is growing in popularity as a result of the movie’s success.

She recommends couples steer clear of the erotic play and kinky trends at first and work at ‘getting closer emotionally’ and ‘being present enough during sex to feel as though you are looking into each other’s souls’.

Dr Goldstein also advises couples to move away from the ’50 Shades of Grey’ mentality that is growing in popularity as a result of the movie’s success

Dr Goldstein also suggests ditching the Karma Sutra and relaxing when it comes to orgasm.

‘The only thing that’s stopping us from having good sex sometimes is our expectation of what good sex should actually be,’ she said.

The relationship expert has previously delved further into the topic on her blog and said the ‘sex break’ should be around two or three weeks.

‘It’s not a matter of one person having to give in to the other but making comprises (sometimes you can say no and sometimes you give yourself a bit of a push),’ Dr Goldstein (pictured) said

‘It’s like resetting your sexual body clock. It’s important to give your body and mind a break from being bombarded and let your natural sexual desires kick back in,’ she explained, adding that compromise is key.

‘It’s not a matter of one person having to give in to the other but making comprises (sometimes you can say no and sometimes you give yourself a bit of a push into it),’ she said.

‘Work on increasing levels of enjoyment so when you do push yourself into it, you soon remember why you did.’

DAILY MAIL

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