He may see like “Mr. Right” on the surface, but is he a keeper?
Some guys will give an outward impression of caring and attention to your needs that seems like it is all too good to be true. But is it genuine? Sometimes, even though all the signs are there, it may be hard to tell or even something that you just don’t want to see even if others may be telling you so.
But if you are being really honest with yourself, here are 12 things that will really tell you that he’s not right for you:
1. You should be integral to his life.
This means that he shouldn’t just have you around for a good time, but you should be included in every aspect of his life including his family, making career decisions, and sharing his goals and dreams for his future with you.
2. He should put your sexual pleasure above his own.
Being left out of the very height of a sexual moment over and over again because you have a man that puts his own needs first, can not only be frustrating, it can be downright infuriating. This type of chronic selfishness in the bedroom speaks volumes about how much a man puts your overall happiness above his own. This means someone who gets to know you well enough to understand what turns you on and then makes it happen.
3. He cares about how he looks.
If a man makes little or no effort to look good for you, then he not only doesn’t care about what you think, but he doesn’t care about himself very much either. He should show how much he cares by always attempting to present himself in the best way for you and your friends and family. There may be times where he has had a hard day and the effort may be less than effective, but at least you should know that he tries to make you feel proud to be with him.
4. He should be a “modern man”
Any man that sticks to the old-fashioned belief that a woman must do the laundry and cook all the meals isn’t someone who sees you as his equal. It may also be his selfish way of getting out of doing the most mundane chores and leaving them all to you. That is not someone that deeply cares or respects you, your time, and your relationship.
5. He should take the time to plan a date and not just schedule it.
There is a big difference when a man put a solid effort into making a date special as opposed to just writing it in on the calendar and showing up. If you find your man is not only setting up the date but when you show up, he is giving you a unique time and even an adventure every time you are together, then that is someone who cares enough about you to create quality time and moments that you will both always remember.
6. He makes an effort to get to know family and friends.
There is hardly a relationship that will stand the test of time if you are with someone who makes a life apart from you when it comes to being around your friends and family members. If he loves you unconditionally, then that means he also sees those around as part of his life as well and gets to know them as people that support you and love you just as he says that he does.
7. He isn’t stubborn about his beliefs.
You may not see eye-to-eye on everything, but someone who truly loves you is willing to compromise on the majority of things that you are also willing to let go if it makes both of you find a happy medium together. Being with a man who constantly wants his own way and literally demands it, is not only a selfish human being but probably a pretty immature one that doesn’t really know the meaning of love.
8. He keeps flirting with you beyond just the first few months.
When the first sparks of desire are there in a man, they tend to go out of their way to get our attention. If a man truly loves you, that same spark of desire will continue throughout your relationship. Yes, it may fade a bit with familiarity over time, but it will remain a constant part of your relationship when you least expect it if a man truly desires and loves you.
9. He shouldn’t be a bum.
If he can’t hold a job, is constantly borrowing money (and not paying it back), and generally can’t seem to get his career going, this is not a man that cares about your future together. He also sees you as a means to support himself as opposed to a life-partner to build a nest-egg together, So, the burden of responsibility for creating financial stability squarely falls on you. Any man who is that immature doesn’t know what a meaningful and loving relationship is all about.
10. His goal should be your happiness.
No matter what the circumstances are in his life, your man should want to put those aside and focus on your happiness. He should never use stress or financial constraints as an excuse to not try, within reason, to get you everything your heart desires.
11. He should care about his health.
How much does a man really care about you if he is willing to ignore his unhealthy lifestyle and risk leaving you on your own prematurely? If he knows that his actions may cause this outcome and he still does it, then he really doesn’t love you at all. Instead, he should face the reality of his unhealthy ways and work to resolve them to live as long a life with you as he can.
12. He shouldn’t ignore you.
If you are trying to communicate with your man at a reasonable hour of the day or night and a reasonable amount of times, then there should be no reason at all for to ignore your calls or text messages. Someone who truly cares about another human being knowns them well enough that if they try to communicate with them, they need them or just want to tell them that they are thinking of them and love them. If he doesn’t know these things about you and ignores you, then he isn’t a long-term man.